


you know i love you so

by handulce



Series: what time is it? (it's missing jisung hours!) [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: :((((, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Han Jisung | Han Needs a Hug, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Sadge, So much comfort, Soft Han Jisung | Han, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Songfic, but not really, sunglix are married, this hurt to write lowkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handulce/pseuds/handulce
Summary: jisung thinks about his yellowalternativelylee felix is a sunshine, and jisung is forever grateful
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Series: what time is it? (it's missing jisung hours!) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048785
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	you know i love you so

**Author's Note:**

> tw !  
> jisung references suicidal thoughts/suicide attempts, depression, and self harm  
> 
> 
> this was very heavily inspired by coldplay's song, 'yellow', please listen, it's one of my favorites :(

felix's chest rose up and down softly, his breaths soft and his sleeping face as angelic as ever. jisung wondered, what is it he did to deserve the embodiment of sunshine that was felix? felix, with the soft blond hair and the freckles that resembled a whole galaxy, with his eyes that dripped honey and a laugh that challenged even the most beautifully tuned chord. 

jisung was so, so incredibly lucky. so lucky, and so happy.

it wasn't long ago when jisung was alone, stuck in a tiny box he called his depression. doing everything he could to try and end the pain, to end his life. this box of his was so dark and so lonely, jisung didn't know what to do with himself anymore. he lost interest in all the things he was once so passionate about, he lost the friends he thought would stay by his side forever, he lost _himself_.

a lone tear rolled down jisung's face, smiling at his husband with so much adoration, with so much love. the boy had managed to break this box of his open, slowly helping jisung worm his way out and into the warm sun.

(he wasn't sure if it was the sun or if it was just felix- they both made him feel warm.)

really, it almost felt surreal. the feelings he had when he was around felix were nothing short of euphoric, the angelic boy saved him. in a way he didn't know or believe he could be saved.

_Look at the stars_

_Look how they shine for you_

_And everything you do_

_Yeah, they were all yellow_

felix made jisung so happy, in a way he didn't know he could ever be. jisung's soft cries fastened in pace, but the smile on his face refused to fall, making his cheeks ache pleasantly.

he softly brushed over the soft cherry lips that whispered so many words of validation to him 

(no matter how many times he relapsed)

he caressed the boy's cheeks, that always pressed up against his own teary ones

(even if it messed up his makeup)

and han jisung, no matter what, would love the boy eternally for it. 

_I came along_

_I wrote a song for you_

_And all the things you do_

_And it was called, "Yellow"_

although his tears were silent and never ending, his husband was able to detect the boy's emotions, even in his sleep. it was almost as if felix was his guardian angel, looking to protect him no matter what.

"jisung? are you crying, love?" he whispered, eyes half opened and drooping heavily. his deep voice was thick, making jisung's heart flutter.

and jisung, in his lovestruck stupor, simply smiled, ignoring the tears that continued to trickle down his reddened cheeks.

"i just-" he whispered, a choke ripping up from his throat, he doesn't know what caused this emotional outburst, but he loved his husband so much, he owed his life to the man. "i love you so much, felix. i love you so, so much."

"is that why you're crying, beloved?" felix replied, voice anything but harsh. 

he nodded, inching closer to felix and laying his head on the boy's chest. 

_ba-dum, ba-dum_

his heartbeat pounded to a song jisung has all but memorized by this point. it was gentle, and comforting, like a blanket.

"i love you too, jisung. more than anything."

_So then I took my turn_

_Oh, what a thing to have done_

_And it was all yellow_

"no, felix, it goes deeper than just that." jisung's voice was shaky, yet no matter how much he cried, his stubborn love struck smile stood firm on his face. "you saved me, you are my yellow. my happiness, without you, i wouldn't be here. and i'm so, so grateful for you. you helped me get out of a place i thought i would be trapped in for the rest of my life."

felix shed a few tears of his own. ever so empathetic and so kind. 

"thank you, felix, for being my yellow."

_Your skin_

_Oh yeah, your skin and bones_

_Turn into something beautiful_

_You know_

_You know I love you so_

_You know I love you so_

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like this was a mess tbh, but thank you for reading <333


End file.
